Don't be morally right and behaviorally wrong.

Follow-up to Previous Post:
Last week, I posted an article that talked about the importance of a supervisor taking responsibility for their staff's work performance.

I received several comments in which people asked--- how do you talk to your boss about pressing performance issues?

Several ideas came to mind.

• First, I think it is crucial and critical whenever you are having a difficult conversation with your boss to approach him or her in a respectful manner.  Diplomacy and asking probing questions are the keys to to achieve a better outcome with connecting and relating to your boss.  Remember---" it is not so much what you say---it is also about how you say it". 

• I would suggest in order to resolve a particular situation, it is important to think about your supervisor's personality and when is the best time and place to have a sensitive conversation.

• Remember---"You can be morally right, but behaviorally wrong":

Often times, employees can feel like they are morally right in a particular situation and the reality may be that you are morally right; however, do your behaviors match what you are trying to demonstrate or display?

Looking at a practical example:

• For example, in looking at your pay check,  you noticed that your boss forgot to pay you for your overtime pay.  If you start yelling at your boss thinking you are right; however, since you decided to yell at your boss, I would argue you are behaviorally wrong.

• What is the correct or professional way to handle this situation?  The professional way would be to talk to someone close to you about the situation.  Stay calm or calm down and your next step would be to have a professional conversation with your boss.  Remember, don't raise your voice and be professional. 

• Many people often use the express, "It is better to catch a bee with honey than a fly with vinegar". The major point is to try and be kind, nice, polite, and professional during difficult situations at work. 

Discussion Questions:

• What triggers your emotions at work when you have conflicts with your boss?
• What is the primary situation in which you would have a difficult time being professional towards your boss?
• Do you engage in positive self-talk as a way to calm down and to be professional at all times at work?
• Is there ever a situation where you may be justified in being rude or displaying anger towards your boss?
• What are the alternative, professional ways of addressing your boss or your co-workers during difficult situations or when conflicts are occurring?

Concluding Remarks:

• I have noticed most reasonable people know and understand the importance of being nice, kind, and professional towards their boss. On the contrary, I believe most people struggle with being professional towards co-workers of equal status. In other words, remember--when you are morally right, just don't forget to be behaviorally right. Being professional is important especially at work with your boss as well as with your co-workers.