Sexual Harassment/Affairs Within The Workplace

Yesterday, while talking to my neighbors over at our community center, three of us got into a discussion about sexual harassment and affairs among co-workers within the workplace.

There were three people involved in the discussion--- two males and one female.

The overall purpose of this message is to remind people of the importance of not having affairs in the workplace and not to engage in sexual harassment at work.

Everyone agreed that it is not a good idea to date someone at your job.  We also discussed why people end of going with people on the job. 

One person said she could understand why it happens because men and women often spend more time with co-workers than with their families.

The older male in the conversation or the discussion said in a joking way, "It is real simple---you don't mix your honey with your money."

Everyone in the group started to laugh saying you are so right.  We all knew exactly what he meant. 

In other words, people should keep their private sexual habits or dating habits separate from the workplace.

More importantly, what are some of the basic steps people can take in order to protect themselves from an affair at work or from sexual harassment on the job?

Practical Solution: Maintain Professional Boundaries
Billy Graham comes to mind as a person who established a very good reputation for having appropriate relationships with his staff and the general public. 

He decided early in his ministry that he would not meet with a female or women without another person being present.  He had an accountability partner in order to keep him honest, but also by having another person present---it also created the perception that he was not up to no good. 

While you might not be able to have another person present when you are meeting with members of the opposite sex, it is important to manage perceptions so that you are not perceived as engaging in inappropriate relationships and maintaining healthy boundaries. 

Throughout his entire career, Billy Graham was viewed in a favorable light because he was able to manage perception.

Sexual Harassment Policy:
Most corporations or larger organizations have a sexual harassment policy.  The policy is meant to reduce the number of complaints about inappropriate relationships in which someone engages in an unwelcome advance towards another person.

A Sexual Harassment policy can do a good job of protecting innocent people from random, inappropriate comments, remarks and behaviors of a sexual nature which create a hostile work environment. People should not have to endure inappropriate sexual comments and statements while working at a particular job.

Sexual Harassment (Unwelcome Advances) vs. Welcome Advances (Two Adults Agreeing To Have An Affair):
However, a sexual harassment policy does not prevent people from having affairs at work where two individuals engage in consensual relations.

 In the early stages of the affair, everything seems to be going well, but when one person becomes dissatisfied and wants to break the relationship off, this can often lead to a variety of problems or trouble. 

I think my neighborhood said it right and in a humorous way, "Don't mix honey with money".

Discussion Questions:

• Do you have healthy boundaries with your co-workers at work?
• What do you do to manage perceptions so that you are perceived as having healthy boundaries with your co-workers?
• Have you ever worked in an organization in which sexual, inappropriate relationships were taken place?  And what impact did an affair or sexual relationships at the office have upon the dynamics within the team?
• If you know your co-workers are having inappropriate relationships, would you say any thing or would you simply mind your own business?
• At what point would you speak to your boss about an affair taking place within your department?
• What advice would you give younger people about how to maintain professional boundaries with co-workers?

Final Remarks:
If you are looking for ways to maintain professional boundaries and to be professional towards your peers, just remember a simple rule--keep things separate.  In other words, keep your private life separate from your professional life. Why? 

As my neighbor would tell you, "It's real simple---don't mix your honey with your money".

 I think you probably get his point. I think my neighbors' message keeps it simple and provides advice in a humorous manner.